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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27473311">Meeting Heehoo</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beautiful_Doom/pseuds/Beautiful_Doom'>Beautiful_Doom</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Unus Annus - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, markiplier - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood and Injury, Gun Violence, Non Graphic, Nudity, feral boi, it all works out in the end, personal headcanons</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:14:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,856</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27473311</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beautiful_Doom/pseuds/Beautiful_Doom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Darkiplier is woken up in the middle of the night by noises coming from the kitchen. Someone or something has broken in, and he goes to investigate.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>73</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Beast</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maybe it was decades of paranoia. Maybe it was his own demonic biology.  </p><p>Or maybe it was the fact that he was technically dead... </p><p>Either way, Darkiplier was quite the light sleeper. </p><p>Even while in a blissful slumber, he seemed to have a sixth sense that always woke him up at the slightest bit of danger or the smallest threat. </p><p>And tonight, he was woken up with a bad feeling. Something was disturbing the peace of the gigantic residence that housed the Iplier egos. Something had broken in, and Darkiplier didn’t take kindly to trespassers... </p><p>Dark pulled a black robe over his pajamas and melted into the shadows, reappearing downstairs. He listened out for any noises, turning when he heard a crash in the kitchen.  He frowned and followed the noises, trying to determine just who or what had broken in. </p><p>He entered the kitchen and looked around. He could see very well in the dark, and the windows let in the light of the moon outside. With it, he could see the pantry door was open. He slowly approached it, ready to lash out in defense if needed. </p><p>As he approached, he could hear low grunts and growls. A dark figure crawled out, tossing aside bags of chips and boxes of crackers. It turned and saw Darkiplier standing there, eyes glowing in the dark. It growled again, baring jagged teeth. </p><p>And then it lunged. </p><p>Dark brought his hands up just in time to keep the beast from sinking its teeth into his neck. It still tried, and Dark could hear the loud click of those teeth seeking flesh and blood. Whatever it was, it was also very heavy, and Dark could feel iron like muscle as he pushed it away. </p><p>He pushed back with his aura, and the beast went flying. It crashed into the kitchen island and broke a few bar stools, but that barely seemed to faze it. It roared and lunged again. This time, Dark was ready and once again threw it across the room. </p><p>The beast got back up and shook itself with a growl. It ran on all fours out of the kitchen and down the hallway. Dark cursed as he followed after it. </p><p>What the hell was that thing? Dark had yet to get a clear view of it. It was as big as a man, but acted completely feral and was incredibly strong. A bear? Maybe... </p><p>Dark teleported down the hallway, trying to cut it off, but the beast was also very fast wherever Dark reappeared, the beast had already rushed by. Dark finally got frustrated enough to send out a pair of shadowed hands to grab the beast and hold it still. </p><p>That was a mistake. </p><p>The beast struggled in Dark’s hold, twisting and thrashing to get free. As Dark tightened his grip, the beast managed to move until it was facing Dark as the other moved closer.  </p><p>The beast then opened its mouth wide and let out an ear-splitting shriek.  </p><p>So used to the high pitched ringing that often accompanied him, Dark’s ear drums did not rupture, but the shriek was still painful enough to cause his hold to loosen enough for the beast to get free. It ran down the hallway Dark shook his head and slowly recovered from the brief spell of disorientation the shriek had caused. </p><p>“What the bloody hell is going on out here?” A nearby door opened and Wilford Warfstache stepped out. He was wearing a bright pink shirt, classic heart patterned boxers... and no pants. Before Dark could say anything, Wilford spotted the beast. </p><p>“Bully!” He drew his gun. “The hunt is on!” </p><p>“Wil-” Dark tried to call him back, but Wilford was too fast. Dark sighed heavily and teleported again. </p><p>Wilford carefully aimed his gun and fired. The bullet grazed the beast’s shoulder, causing it to cry out in pain. The beast slid to a stop and then turned to attack. Wilford aimed and fired again. This time the bullet hit the beast square in the leg. </p><p>But it seemed to do little damage as the beast tackled Wilford, knocking his gun away. </p><p>“What’s going on?” </p><p>“We heard gun shots!” </p><p>“I-is something w-w-rong?” </p><p>Dark looked over to see more egos coming out of their rooms: Eric, Bim, and Illinois.  </p><p>“Nothing to worry about,” Wilford grunted, putting the beast into a headlock. “Just an intruder! I’ll have this handled in a jiffy.” </p><p>Well, he would have been able to handle it... if the beast hadn’t reared back and slammed its head into Wilford’s vulnerable nose... </p><p>Illinois, the seasoned explorer that he was, knew exactly what was about to happen. He unfurled the whip he had brought with him, and then swung it over to wrap around the beast just as it tried to run off again. The whip pulled on the beast’s injured leg, causing it to fall to the ground with a whimper of pain. </p><p>“Excellent job, Illinois!” Wilford grabbed his gun with one hand while the other held his probably broken nose. “Now let’s put this poor thing out of its misery...” </p><p>“W-wait!” Eric said. “C-can we just let it go. D-do we have t-t-o kill it?” </p><p>“What even is it?” Bim asked. “Hang on, let me get the light.” </p><p>No one moved as Bim found the light switch and turned the light on. </p><p>“What the hell?” Dark stepped back as the beast was revealed. </p><p>“Why is he naked?!” Bim asked. </p><p>“Nothing wrong with letting things air out,” Wilford shrugged. “Dr. Iplier says it’s healthy.” </p><p>Illinois shrugged. He’d seen plenty of nudity in his adventures, but poor Eric immediately covered his eyes. </p><p>“What the hell is goin’ on here?” Yancy appeared at the other end of the hall. “Been a while since I’ve... heard... gunshots...” </p><p>Yancy saw what was going on. A naked man wrapped in a whip on the floor with the other egos standing around, one of which had a gun. He slowly put his hands up and started walking backwards. </p><p>“Hey man... I didn’t see nothin’. Didn’t see a thing. Youse... youse guys just... I aint a snitch! I aint gonna say nothin’!” He quickly turned around and rushed back to his room. </p><p>“That boy has problems,” Wilford said. He looked back at the man on the floor and cocked his gun. </p><p>“Wait!” Bim looked closer at the man. “Wait, that’s Mark!” </p><p>“Mark?” Dark flipped the man over, revealing his face. “This... thing is not Mark. Look at its eyes.” </p><p>“M-maybe it’s another e-ego,” said Eric. “If it is... th-then we can’t kill it...” </p><p>“Another one?!” Dark growled in anger. “He seriously made another one? As if we don’t have enough in this house! We don’t have room for any more, this place is bursting at the seams as it is.” </p><p>“We could keep him in the woods,” Wilford said, straightening his nose back out with his fingers. It cracked, and he yelped slightly. “I’m sure he’ll love it out there. Free to be himself... and not wear clothing.” </p><p>“Fine,” Dark sighed. “Have Dr. Iplier look him over, and when he’s healed, he goes outside. Who knows? Maybe he’ll help keep any unsavory sorts away from here.” </p><p>“A jolly idea!” Wilford beckoned to Illinois. “Illy, if you don’t mind...” </p><p>Illinois looked at the others, but they were already heading back to their rooms. He sighed and reached down to help Wilford carry the new ego to the infirmary.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Problem</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Surprise! I got some inspiration to add another chapter. I might write more if you guys are interested.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Dark!” </p><p>Darkiplier slowly took a deep breath, already knowing that what was about to happen was going to shoot his last nerve out of the water. Still, he recognized the voice before they even entered his office, and King was a good soul. He did not deserve Dark’s wrath. </p><p>Not yet, at least... </p><p>“King,” Dark greeted the ego who came in. “How can I help you?” </p><p>The King of the Squirrels, one of Mark’s oldest egos, normally so calm and serene, looked frazzled. His crown barely hid the wild and unruly hair that somehow looked even more wild and unruly. His cape had rips in it, and his normal clothes were stained with dirt... more so than usual. </p><p>“That new ego,” said King. “The one that Mark calls Heehoo. He can’t stay in my forest. He’s terroirizing my squirrels, and I’m worried he might kill some of them. He’s already tried to get into my tree fort, and I’m tired of having to keep him out!” </p><p>“Why does he want to get into your tree fort?” Dark asked. “If he needs shelter, we can provide a tent.” </p><p>“From what I’ve seen...” King mused. “He’s after my Takis stash. He really seems to like them.” </p><p>“Then we can get him more Takis the next time we go shopping,” said Dark. “Problem solved.” </p><p>“No, the problem is not solved,” said King. “He’s still scaring my squirrels!” </p><p>Dark seemed to think on it for a few minutes.  </p><p>“Well, I’d say that’s a good enough reason,” he said, picking up the phone on his desk. He dialed a number and waited. “Wilford,” he said as someone picked up. “I’ve changed my mind. Go kill that new Heehoo character. He’s causing us all too much trouble.” </p><p>King looked horrified as he heard Wilford cheer over the phone and promise Dark a good hunting trophy. Dark hung up and smiled at King. </p><p>“There. Is the problem solved now?” He asked. </p><p>“You-I-I can’t...” King’s eye twitched as he struggled to speak. “No! You can’t just kill him, Dark! All wild life deserves to be protected.” </p><p>“Does it, King?” Dark growled. “Does it really? Because right now this life is giving me wrinkles, grey hairs, and migraines. Ever since the night he came here, I’ve heard nothing but complaints and whining and moaning about him! Right now killing him seems to be the only way to solve anything, so I am going to do just that. And I wouldn’t worry. Wilford will make sure to kill him in one hit. He won’t feel a thing.” </p><p>“What if I rehabilitate him?” King asked. </p><p>Dark stared at King, looking skeptical. </p><p>“What is this, a Disney movie?” He asked. “You are hardly a Disney Princess, King.” </p><p>“I was able to tame my squirrels,” said King. “Maybe I can tame him too. Just give me a chance, please!” </p><p>Dark’s eye twitched, and his form split for a brief second. He was completely done with this conversation and just wanted King to leave so that he could get back to his work. </p><p>“Fine,” he said. “Fine! You have one month. If he’s not better by the time your month is over, Wilford is putting him down. That is all, please close the door on your way out.” </p><p>King didn’t leave. </p><p>“Aren’t you forgetting something,” he asked, glancing at the phone. </p><p>Dark simply raised an eyebrow. </p><p>“Wilford!” said King. “He’s going to go hunt Heehoo! You need to tell him to stop!” </p><p>“Ah,” Dark deliberately turned away from the phone and began working on his paperwork. “Yes, I suppose I should.” </p><p>His tone made it clear that he was not going to do that. </p><p>“Wilford!” King rushed from the room. “Wilford!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I decided to add in a few personal headcanons for the Heehoo character. So sad that we didn't get to see more of him. Let me know if you guys liked this story!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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